In Victorian London, any meal that took place outside the home after 6pm was automatically a formal occasion, warranting low necked gowns, opera length gloves and evening/dancing slippers. Generally married women wore heavy silks and taffetas whilst the unmarried wore chiffon or muslin.
Upon arrival, one is "received", often with a white wine (Hock is preferable) or a champagne with other guests in the main entrance hall. The gentlemen must always remain by the side of the lady he is escorting, and if she needs the bathroom, he must wait outside to join her. A lady without an escort is extremely improper and any gentleman attending a social event must be fully aware of the implications of their behaviour.
The first to enter the dining hall, once the doors are opened, is the host, who escorts either the highest ranking lady, a newcomer to the area, the wife of the guest of honour or a new bride (depending on the situation). Escorting is not the woman hanging off the man's arm, as we often see today, rather the man would hold his right arm out, so that his fingertips touched the centre of his somach and the woman would lightly touch his upper arm. The other guest then take their escorts inside, and the last to enter the room is the hostess, escorted by the host's business partner or best friend. No-one may be seated until the hostess stands behind her seat.
In terms of seating arrangements, the gentlemen sit with female escorts on their left. The host sits at the head of the table with the female guest of honour on his left and the male guest of honour sits on his right (though I have read this the other way round). At the foot of the table, the hostess sits with her escort to her right.
Soup tureens should be placed in front of the hostess, and she is responsible for serving the soup dish, whilst the host is responsible for the fish. It is always assumed that the host can carve well. If he cannot, then he should not, according to Victorian etiquette, entertain friends at his home.
If arriving late to a dinner party, you are expected to forego previous courses and wait for the next to be served.
There were two main styles of dining in Victorian Britain... the first was "a la francaise" and the second "a la russe". The former was popular through the first half of the 19th century, though many families continued to use it at home well into the back end of the 1800s. This involved all courses being arranged in the centre of the table, over little tealight holders to keep the dishes warm. Basically, this meant that the dishes were the table decoration and everything had to be arranged symmetrically. The second, known as "a la russe" was where waiters and servants brought courses out one at a time instead, and was popular in the latter half of the 19th century and is the form of dining most commonly used today.
At the end of the meal, the hostess would signal the time for the ladies to retire by making strong eye contact with the host's escort, then standing to leave.
At the end of a dinner party, ladies were expected to leave both their calling card and their husband's calling card. It was also considered rude (and still is!) to take flowers, chocolates or wine to a social event, as it implies that the host is inadequate. Instead, one may offer such items, as well as a handwritten letter on fine paper, after the event has taken place. In addition to this, a lady invited to a dinner party, whether in attendence or not, is expected to show her gratitude and pay her respects by calling in person at the household within a week of the event.
A note for non-British writers: In the UK, one holds their fork in their left hand and knife in the right. Once the meat is cut, you continue to eat using both implements, you do NOT lay down your knife and swap hands. Furthermore, in polite circles, you are expected to always eat with your fork so that the curve is pointed upwards, and should never scoop up any food. When eating peas, for example, you should either skewer the peas with your fork, or crush them against the meat / potato in order to eat them, rather than resorting to "shovelling".
DECORATION OF THE TABLE.
Flowers should invariably be tastefully introduced, as being the most pleasing and agreeable to the eye and senses. Plateaus of fruits complete the ornamental part of the arrangements. For the sake of convenience, sherry and Madeira may be placed on the table.
LIGHTING.
It is of the utmost importance that the dining-room should be well-lighted ; this is a point often neglected at the tables of people who ought to know better, but are too indolent to give directions. The light thrown on the table should be brilliant, and every part of the room thoroughly illuminated, although with a more subdued light. Ventilation must, at the same time, be attended to.
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WAITING
Every dish, plate, knife, fork, spoon, and glass should be placed on the table and removed without the least noise or appearance of bustle; every movement must be quiet, cool, collected, and deferential. Plates warmed up to that point of heat which will bear the touch. Small cruet-frames,-such as manufactured by Dismore of Liverpool,-containing salt, Cayenne pepper, and mustard, should be on the table in proportions of one to every three persons.
SOUP.
In order to give the cook fair play, the fish should never be served with the soup - it is a distinct and important course.
FISH.
When the soup is handed round, ring the bell as a signal for the cook to send up the fish, and thus it will [-52-] be served hot, and the anxiety and character of a good cook cared for.* [* The hour named for dinner should be adhered to with military exactness. It is related of Camhacéres that Napoleon kept his dinner waiting half an hour, and in despair he sent for his cook, and in true military phraseology, exclaimed, "Head! save the entremets, the entrées are annihilated. The late Dr. Kitchener, whose name fully bore out his devotion to the culinary art, piqued himself upon his punctuality, and was in the habit of having the following motto written over his sideboard: "Come at seven, go at eleven. Theodore Hook, who always liked to get into what are called the short hours, added the word "it," to the above, and great was the surprise of the worthy doctor, when he found that by the alteration, the notice read as follows: "Come at seven, go it at eleven."] Never place fish on a napkin, but serve on a silver or earthenware strainer. Almost every fish requires the use of a knife, and as steel is highly detrimental to the delicate flavour of the piscatory luxury, and the use of one is deemed a vulgarism, a sharp silver blade will prevent your being choked with bones, and not lay you open to the charge of being a Goth.
ENTREES.
In the same way, the entrées and top and bottom dishes should never be served together. The entrées [-53-] should be handed round singly, and disposed of in succession; and when the plates are removed, then place on the table the top and bottom removes. N.B.-Two good entrées, a light and a solid one, are enough, and worth a dozen badly cooked and worse served. Don't omit to hand the vegetables and sauces.
ENTREMETS
Require no particular instructions.
ROSE-WATER
If rose-water is introduced, do not have a silver handbath for the million, but have the fragrant liquid in a separate finger-glass for each guest. It is impossible to be too Jewish in the cleanliness of your feast. The lavatory operation is often performed in a way truly disgusting - napkins and fingers immersed. The old fashion of a small piece of lemon in a glass of pure water,-tepid, if during the winter, is always agreeable.
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WINES.
AFTER SOUP.-Hand round Madeira and sherry; and remember that, after turtle, punch is banished from all well-regulated tables, as being a stomach-destroying, bilious, gouty, and cloying beverage.
AFTER WHITE FISH.-One glass only of hock or Moselle cup. After salmon, either claret cup, claret, or port.* [*White cup and Sauces follow White Fish-Red cup amid Brown Sauces, Red or Brown Fish. The same rule applies to White and Brown Meats.]
AFTER ENTREES.-In order to pander to the prevailing weakness of the day, and assuming that the champagne is choice in quality and perfectly iced, this much overrated, but now favourite wine with the ladies, may be introduced and continued throughout the dinner - but, strictly speaking, it should be reserved until the roast has been served. Never use the present round saucer animalculae-catching champagne glasses, but properly fashioned tulip-shaped ones.
AFTER GAME.-Either claret cup or port.
AFTER ICEs.-Cherry-brandy in Bohemian liqueur glasses; all other liqueurs are destructive of the palate.
[-55-] Should oysters precede the soup, a glass of Chablis or Sauterne.
Oysters or anchovy toast should be substituted for cheese; the handing round of the latter is more honoured in the breach than the observance.
BREAKFASTS.
Have a bill of fare laid on the table of what is ready in the kitchen to be dressed, so that each person can order what he fancies. It is often painful to see plates of eggs and ham, cutlets, kidneys, come up and get cold-especially when, in many houses, persons do not assemble at a fixed hour.
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Victorian breakfasts were lavish affairs with ornate floral centrepieces and a white array of dishes adorning the table. At the centre of the breakfast table, there was usually a large dish of jelly (jell-o to American readers) as it entertained the guests as it wobbled. Foods served included pheasant, kidneys, scotch woodcock (egg yolk and cream cooked together, then spread on toast with anchovey paste) and haddock in puff pastry.